News Break: MORE TERRIFYING CLOWNS ARE POPPING UP DOWN SOUTH


UPDATE: Reports of a fresh batch of demonic clowns attempting to lure children into the woods have reached Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
On Sunday, at 8:30 PM, a person dressed as a clown reportedly tried to offer children candy; this was, of course, only seen by children.
Said creepy clown was white overalls, white gloves, red shoes, red hair, white and a red nose, and disappeared when the po-po arrived.
Another report of a clown was surfaced hours later; unclear if this was the same person.
REAL clown Mike Bevcar, who performs under the alias Sir Toony Van Dukes, and runs a website called "Just For Clowns" (I mean...) expressed his concern for the damage these reports are doing to the reputation of professional clowns everywhere, in an email to the New York Times.
He also condemns the media's coverage as adding to the clown hysteria:

I wonder how the reporting on the story would go if instead of clowns, people were dressing up as aliens, witches, zombies or doctors? What if they were wearing hospital scrubs, lab coats and a stethoscope around their neck. Would the news report that doctors were hiding in the woods trying to lure kids with candy?

No offense, Mr. Toony Van Dukes, but it's very, VERY different when it's a CLOWN.
Greenville, South Carolina is currently existing in some kind of collective nightmare dimension, as multiple children in the area have reported that several people dressed as clowns have been attempting to lure them into the woods surrounding the community.
Specifically, residents of the Fleetwood Manor apartment complex are on high alert, with many of the sightings occurring in or around the buildings.
A terrifying letter of warning has been posted for the families in Fleetwood Manor:

To The Residents of Fleetwood Manor
There has [sic] been several conversation [sic] and a lot of complaints to the office regarding a clown or a person dressed in clown clothing taking children or trying to lure children in the woods. First and foremost at Fleetwood Manor Apartments childrens [sic] safety is a top priority. At no time should a child be alone at night, or walking in the roads or wooded areas at night. Also if a person or persons are seen you are to immediately call the police. Greenville County Police Department is aware of the situation and have been riding [sic] the property daily. Remember there is a 10pm curfew for the property so to ensure your childrens [sic] safety please keep them in the house during night hours and make sure at ALL times children are supervised. Anymore information that becomes regarding this issue will be sent out to all residents.
Thank you, 

Property Manager

Fleetwood residents, James and Donna Arnold, filed one of the reports after two of their sons, aged 10 and 13, spotted some of the phantom clowns; their sons, along with several other children, believe the clowns are living in an abandoned home in the woods.
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James Arnold relayed the chilling encounter his sons had with said clowns to BuzzFeed:

[Our children] mentioned, 'Mama, there's clowns out there in the woods and they're trying to get us to come out there. Some had chains, some had knives, and some were holding out money, saying, 'Come here, we've got candy for you,' but they wouldn't go.

FUCKKKKKKK.
Another resident alleged that she saw a man dressed as a clown with a "blinking nose" standing under a parking lot post light (as only a clown does in the dead of night) as she walked home around 2:30 AM on the morning of August 21.
She claims the clown waved at her, which she reciprocated.
GREAT, NOW YOU'RE MARKED BY THE BLINKING-NOSE CLOWN. UNIDENTIFIED RESIDENT.
Unclear if this is some viral marketing for the upcoming IT remake, but all phantom clowns can go RIGHT to hell.
Thank you.

1 comment:

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