Marry a man who loves you more than you love him

Hey
check this out from "elmo’s first thoughts" (a blog entry I found on a concern I have):

My mother once told me:

When you hold a man’s hand and he makes your heart beat faster and he makes you feel giddy and excited, walk away from this man. He is not the man for you. If you hold a man’s hand and he makes you feel warm, safe and secure, hold onto him. This is the man you are going to marry.

I was 16 when my mother told this to me. At that time, I thought it made absolutely no sense and I told my mother that she was insane if she thought I was going to be some mechanical, unfeeling being who would pick the “safe” choice over the great love affair that burns with a passion deep enough to consume us. I have always been someone who gets carried away by her feelings. When my mother said that I should marry a man who loves me more than I love him, I thought it an impossible feat. By nature, I have always been the one who over-invests in a relationship and thus, I felt that I would always be the one who will love the other person more. But as I grew up, I began to tear the veil from my eyes and see that love is not just some Walt Disney movie with a fairytale ending. Love is hard. Relationships are hard. We do not always get what we want and often, a burning passion is not enough to make a relationship work.

TO CONTINUED click here



dammnn. I'm young still and just was talking with my roommate about this last night. It may however be true. I've always been one to go for what I want and not wait for the boys to come up to me. However I have always again been the one who is left or disappointed in the end. The only serious relationship I have ever had was when I was "chased" and let him love me more. Indeed over time I grew to love him but it was a long road. In retrospect things didn't fall apart until he realized he "caught" me. It's funny that on one end of things it's all about a control element as well. You keep the man under your finger tip because otherwise he will act a fool. My only problem with this is that it sounds like one has to not just settle but play coy and let the man feel as though he is in control all the time.FUCK COY. I am all for letting my man feel masculine and like a "real man" but there is a thin line between the illusion of control and the use/ abuse of control over another person. I guess it's a back and forth play of "hard to get" and passion to keep him but it's definitely not an easy role. So I guess.. find a man who you have burning passion for and then play this coy/ passion role with him to keep him around... hmmm ..It's all about the slash (mixture of coy and passion) for me then cuz I be damed if Imma sit around waiting for prince charming to get off his lazy ass and come getta mothe fucka form the burning tower.. shhiitt. If anything at all in the end this maybe true ... Marry a man who loves you more than you love him... it seems to be the answer...

And I'm not lookin to marry a motha fucka but even for a relationship these seem to be the rules..

What do you think?